Setbacks

Another setback today. The intake appointment was cancelled because MA hasn't processed the paperwork and been reinstated yet, and the hospital won't start outpatient treatment until funding is verified. So it's more of the waiting game, which is nothing unusual as far as medical assistance goes.

This is really frustrating because every time it feels like we are making progress, there is another hold up. Things would be a lot easier if Christen was able to be under her dad's insurance but unfortunately that's not possible since she has been on her own since 16. It seems so unfair for her treatment to be so inadequate. She is only 19 and I don't think any 19 year old should have to work systems the way that she does.

As for me, I am being as supportive as possible while still trying to keep up with finals and all that jazz. I feel like I should be doing more but the reality is there is nothing to do right now but wait. And wait. And wait.

Medications

As I said earlier, finding medications for bipolar disorder is a chore. Everyone is different and reacts to medications/medication combinations in differently. Oftentimes the side effects are unbearable. Here is a list of the medications Christen has been on since she was 13, with the side effects she has experienced. We haven't found the right one yet.

-Prozac: Depression worsened, followed through with plan of suicide
-Remeron: Initially lost all symptoms of depression, helped appetite and weight, helped sleeping. Eventually symptoms worsened again and meds were changed.
-Risperdal: Absence of menstrual periods, lactation, increased appetite, headache
-Abilify: Restlessness, nervousness, insomnia, restless leg
-Depakote: Increase in appetite and sleep, headache, nausea, dry mouth
-Clomipramine: Irregular fast heartbeat, nausea, vomiting, anxiety, chills, inability to sleep
-Seroquel: Extreme tiredness (must sleep for at least 12 hours after taking), dry mouth
-Zyprexa: Increase in appetite/weight, insomnia, nausea
-Lithium: Currently taking Lithium (has been for 2 months). Nausea and vomiting after consumption, thirst.


If you are interested in learning more about medications for bipolar disorder, this website does a great job explaining the different classes, how they work and potential side effects: Bipolar Medication Guide

Decision.

We met with Sarah today and came to a decision about the hospital. Right now outpatient is a better option than inpatient. Outpatient is a month long commitment, 4 days a week, for 6 hours a day. It would allow Christen to work evenings (good for me because I won't have to make rent by myself), sleep at home, and most importantly it allows incorporation of the daily therapies into day to day life. Intake is on Thursday.

We also worked the system with the insurance company a little bit today. Her insurance was cancelled this month due to "missing paperwork" (which she turned in twice). They finally found the second set of papers and told us they still need her paystubs to verify income. So she will drop those off tomorrow and then hopefully it will be reinstated.

Things have been really hard lately and sometimes it feels like they are escalating out of control. As someone who lives with and loves a bipolar person, here are some coping strategies I use during cycling:


-Take a step back from the situation. It's not about you. It's about the bipolar. Remove yourself from the situation if necessary (as long as your loved one isn't in immediate danger) - go for a walk, ride your bike, go for a drive, go to a friend's house.

-Talk about it. Bipolar is an isolating disorder, not just for the sufferer but for their loved ones. Besides, who wouldn't want to hear about all the crazy drama in your life?

-In the words of Bob Marley, "Don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

Yesterday Christen had another dangerous manic episode. I called Sarah, her counselor, who called Christen and told her she needs to go to the hospital - either inpatient or outpatient. It's really on longer an option. She finally agreed. We're meeting Tuesday to talk about options. This week has really sucked.

Resources for significant others

I recently discovered this website which has a wealth of resources for the significant others of those with bipolar. Click the "Support" tab for online and community support groups, "Personal Experience of BP" for blogs and web pages by sufferers, and "Role of the Family" for self-care tips and personal accounts of experiences by loved ones. The resources provided in this last tab really made me feel connected to others and like I am not alone in this. Check it out HERE!

Mental Health Screening Center

If you are concerned that you or your loved one may have bipolar disorder, the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance offers online screening tools. Click the link below to proceed. When the page loads, choose either "Depression Screening", "Mania Screening" or "Anxiety Screening".


Bipolar Disorder Screening Tool